I've gone and done something so great, even I can't begin to think about it without my brain exploding.

Just kidding. Click here for my new page .

-g

"The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural." ... Lucas' last mistake takes two minutes off my life ...

You know me, I hate to nit-pick. I hate to point out minor faults in otherwise brilliant works. I hate to find the miniscule things buried deep underneath excellent plots. I hate it.

Having said that...

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!"

There's the two minutes that nearly killed Episode III.

I mean, after you put aside the stilted dialogue, the forced and mechanical acting and the idiotic names — was Naboo really the best name Lucas could think of? — the Frankenstein scene is easily one of the most unoriginal and cheesy scenes in recent movie history. I'm even putting it below the final scene in The Matrix.

Which is really a shame, because, until that point, it was easily the second-best Star Wars movie of all time.

When that 2 minutes was up, it was tied for 3rd.

Of course, that leads me to my main point: George Lucas should've had someone else do these movies.

That's not to say that I don't love Georgie — he's gotten plenty of my money over the years and is responsible for 2 of my favorite all-time movie series. I do.

Without him, we don't have the special effects we have now. He pioneered sound effects. He pioneered digital effects. He pioneered how to shoot a space adventure.

Without him, no Matrix. Wait, that might've been a good thing.

And George Lucas might just be the best plot-writer of all time. The world's he invented and the story-lines he's developed are among the finest in movie history.

It's just, you know, the rest that sucks. It's not a coincidence the acting in Empire Strike's Back is better. That's cause it's not Lucas behind the camera. It's Kirschner.

Hayden Christensen. Natalie Portman. Ewan McGregror. Samuel L. Jackson. They are all terrific actors. And in Episodes I-III, they come off as shadows of a great character. No definition and no color.

If Ron Howard would've directed this, I'm almost certain Samuel L. Jackson would look more like Jules than J.J.

So, what did I like about this movie?

The idea behind it. I've wanted to see how Anakin goes from petulant teen to evil Sith Lord. I've wanted to see how Darth Vader went from Jedi to the dark side.

And to find out that Anakin went to the dark side for a good reason was an absolute killer idea.

Anakin is trying to save his wife. He's showing real human emotion. He's exhibiting love for his wife. Well, at least at first. That's the whole idea. He wants to gain a power that would allow him to keep his wife alive.

Damn, I'd be screwed if I had that choice.

The reason Anakin becomes Vader is that he's human. So, what does that say about humanity?

For that matter, what does that say about George Lucas? Only monastic types like Obi-Wan and Yoda can repel all of the human impulses that bombard us each day. That people with real human emotions and passion are inherently evil.

Really?

This is why I was so let down by the Frankenstein scene. It felt like all this great momentum towards the future was being built and then, whoosh, there went the rug right out from underneath me.

I know that scene needed to be in the movie. I don't mind the idea behind the scene. I just hate what happens during the scene. The dialogue, the motions, the action, the lighting, the entire 2 minutes really bothered me.

The birth of Vader was supposed to be the death of Anakin. And, hence, the edge where the darkness begins and the humanity ends. The culmination of his passion. Going over that edge. Into darkness.

And to turn that idea into a cartoon should've been an idea Lucas let go.

Instead, the birth of Vader was the birth of a poorly executed scene predicated upon the death of Anakin — an otherwise brilliant idea.

Was I disappointed? Yeah, a little. Do I blame George Lucas? Yeah, a little. Did I still enjoy the flick? Yeah, a lot. That tells you how good the rest was.

Delays ... both personal and prohibitive.

Promised a post for Friday with my review of Star Wars: Episode III. Somehow, this little thing called work and buying a house got in the way.

So, I'll have the site fully updated with a Star Wars review and some random thoughts on Wednesday.

-g