the feeling you get when you get kicked in the stomach and then fall over, clutching your wounded pride more than anything...

I hope to find my desperation at the bottom of a bottle. it will be gone tomorrow and from then on -- silence. I assume that role. Open heartedly. I find that separation seems so lost and that togetherness is utterly hopeless. Stuck on the same line. Repeating. As if stuck in a room with no walls, windows, suffocation. Somewhere down the line, the message got lost. The messenger was shot. As if inferiority was an outlet; maybe if inferiority was plan of action -- better yet, a cop-out. Possibly, though I don't want to find a corner, the bottle of desolation will be gone tomorrow too. As will the feelings I feel. The roles I assume. Maybe the silence. Possibly, this all comes rushing back. Wake and repeat. Sleep it off and it's right back. On hiatus for a few hours ... possibly. Perhaps in this time, this window into silence, the answer that never meant to be found is hiding. Perhaps, possibly and maybe all at the same time.

There is no sense in hiding the facts. Facts don't perceive lies the same way lies deceive facts.

I wish a robot would get elected president. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad.

Remind me, what year is this? I keep forgetting. It's not really that I can't remember, it's that I can't keep it straight. In my head, it's like 2003 or 2004. But, for some reason, I keep thinking that it's much earlier than that. Somewhere like 1950 feels right. But I really wouldn't know, cause I wasn't alive then. Cursed. Maybe it's 1973. yeah, that's more like it. I wasn't alive then either, but again, it apparently doesn't matter.

Ah, yes. Politics. Where Times New Roman means more than "job creation."

What's that?

It's where service (or lack of service) in a war that has long been referred to as the past is more important than the service of those in war that some have said is in the past but some could argue is very much the present and future.

Huh?

Where character means as much as agenda.

Since when have we elected a president based on character? Kennedy was a womanizer ... for that matter, so was Clinton. Ford had no character. Nixon? Reagan? They were men of character? Moral? One lied. The other was a divorcee. Bush Sr.? Well, maybe...

Why does character matter? Why, for that matter does morality? The same people who claim Bushie is a moral man, are the same that made a hero of Reagan. (Perhaps many of these same people are the ones that believe Rush got a bad rap and isn't really a drug addict. Perhaps these are the same people that forget about the DUIs and blow in Bushies past.)

OK, I've shown my colors.

But really, is it OK to ignore one candidates past in order to attack the others?

Is Kerry a flip-flop? Yeah. I'll admit that. But is it worse than a candidate going back on a campaign promise? (Anyone remember what Bush said about the environment ... discuss it amongst yourselves.)

Did Kerry exaggerate his war record? Maybe. But is it worse than a man exaggerating the reasons behind a war? I think a war record and an actual war are two very different things.

(Time machine time) Did Clinton smoke pot? Yup ... remember, he didn't inhale, but he was vilified. As a side note, I'm very happy he was elected, cause, if you're that age and haven't smoked pot, I don't think I trust you. Again, Rush is a drug addict. Was, I'm sorry, he's rehabbed so he's all good. And Bush, that whole coke thing ... all in the past.

Did Clinton avoid the war? Yup. But, wait, didn't Cheney get six deferments? And Ashcroft? Well, he was busy in school with Wolfowitz. And Bush? Well, he protected Alabama. Could you imagine if Bush were in the Alabama Air National Guard today? Heck, he'd be in Iraq in the shit so to speak. Just a thought.

OK, long story short. The point is not that character doesn't matter. I think it probably should (Oh crap, there goes my argument, I flip-flopped) matter. But, I just don't think that a person with suspect morals and character should be attacked by a person who's character and morals are suspect too.