It's OK to be funny. It's less OK to think you're funny. It's really bad to tell people that you think you're funny. That's just plain not funny ...

"Nothing ... seems to kill me. No matter how hard I try." -- Blow Up the Outside World, Soundgarden.

See, I'm a funny person. I know this. You know this. I'll prove it...

....

OK, minor technicality: You can't think of anything funny to say. Ignore this idiot..

I take great pride in proving my wit. When someone spits milk out of their nose, I've had a good day.

OK, this is a technicality again, but: You've never made someone spit milk out of their nose.

There's really nothing better than busting up an entire room with a cleverly placed and witty antecdote.

OK, this is ridiculous. What are you talking about? You've never done that either.

And really, there isnt' anything that I find funnier and more amusing than handicapped people.

WHOA. That's a complete and total inaccuracy.

Moving right along. I'm the funniest person that I know.

What about your brother? Or Jubes? Perhaps your uncle?

I can take anything and turn it into a joke.

This is pretty lame. First, schizophrenia jokes aren't funny. Second, the premise of this entire entry is pretty, well, lame.

But...

No witty response? No comeback?

I...

Face it, you're just upset that your wife is funnier than you are.

Yeah, but at least I have the courage to write when I can't come up with anything viable.

Well, yeah, that's not so bad.

I mean, this conversation can keep going on and on. Seemlessly.

And, maybe, just maybe, you'll come up with a joke before this train of thought ends.

Nope.