Actually, I was probably born annoying, but it's likely (i.e. a stark inevitability) that I've just become this annoying ...
Maybe it's just me getting older, but I've started to notice a lot of bad habits/nervous tics. It's like I woke up one day and they just appeared. I can't get rid of them and they won't get rid of me.
The bad habits:
1. I'm so self-deprecating that it hurts. (There's a better joke there, I'm just not smart/funny/good enough to find it.)
2. I have a tendency to talk really fast and slur words together. In this same vein, I also use incorrect grammar when I mean to not be incorrect. I toss in the word be, actually, when I should conjugate it.
3. I'm a referencist. When talking to somebody, I bring up the fact that I talked to somebody about this before (I drop that name) and I tend to explain all material not necessary to the narrative, but essential in my mind. At the heart of it, I'm a parenthetical person (i.e., most of the meat of the story or the most interesting parts about me lie in the margins or the footnotes of my being) and, as such, live life as a footnote. (Funny story, I was telling Greg this once before and we were talking about how David Foster Wallace -- who wrote a great book called "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" available through Back Bay Books -- and I share the same trait of constantly interrupting ourselves to explain the back story or add more information or -- and this is highly the only reason -- to make ourselves seem more important.
4. I make up words to fit what I want to say. Actually, this problem is really getting out of control.
The nervous tics:
1. I tap. I tap. I tap. I tap out morse code, drum lines, guitar lines, nothing in particular, everything I hear, traffic patterns. I just get my fingers rapping and it annoys the hell out of my mother in law.
2. For no reason, I usually bring up the band Night Ranger. I'm not sure where this lies on the habits/tic meter or how embarassing/uncool/annoying this is, but I do it once or twice a week. Sometimes more. (Just the other day I was in a chat room ... wait, deep breath. No.)
3. Actually, this is why I wrote this. This is the problem that has been driving me nuts. I realized this one and the rest came together, actually. And that's that I say the word "actually" entirely too much. I use it as an introductory clause, an exclamation point, a point of reference, a symbol of disbelief, a conjunction, a comma and as it's own sentence. I'm trying to figure a way to use it as a contraction. But it's kinda hard. It reminds me of my "rock" period. I used the word "rock" in as many instances as I could (i.e. "You rock," "That rocks," "Rock on," "Keep on rocking," etc.). And it isn't quite as bad as when other people use totally or like, like every freaking word. I just use it in the wrong instances. I can hear the word forming, actually, and then it comes out. I want to stop it, but actually, it just kind of happens.
So yeah, I was probably just born this way...
The bad habits:
1. I'm so self-deprecating that it hurts. (There's a better joke there, I'm just not smart/funny/good enough to find it.)
2. I have a tendency to talk really fast and slur words together. In this same vein, I also use incorrect grammar when I mean to not be incorrect. I toss in the word be, actually, when I should conjugate it.
3. I'm a referencist. When talking to somebody, I bring up the fact that I talked to somebody about this before (I drop that name) and I tend to explain all material not necessary to the narrative, but essential in my mind. At the heart of it, I'm a parenthetical person (i.e., most of the meat of the story or the most interesting parts about me lie in the margins or the footnotes of my being) and, as such, live life as a footnote. (Funny story, I was telling Greg this once before and we were talking about how David Foster Wallace -- who wrote a great book called "Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" available through Back Bay Books -- and I share the same trait of constantly interrupting ourselves to explain the back story or add more information or -- and this is highly the only reason -- to make ourselves seem more important.
4. I make up words to fit what I want to say. Actually, this problem is really getting out of control.
The nervous tics:
1. I tap. I tap. I tap. I tap out morse code, drum lines, guitar lines, nothing in particular, everything I hear, traffic patterns. I just get my fingers rapping and it annoys the hell out of my mother in law.
2. For no reason, I usually bring up the band Night Ranger. I'm not sure where this lies on the habits/tic meter or how embarassing/uncool/annoying this is, but I do it once or twice a week. Sometimes more. (Just the other day I was in a chat room ... wait, deep breath. No.)
3. Actually, this is why I wrote this. This is the problem that has been driving me nuts. I realized this one and the rest came together, actually. And that's that I say the word "actually" entirely too much. I use it as an introductory clause, an exclamation point, a point of reference, a symbol of disbelief, a conjunction, a comma and as it's own sentence. I'm trying to figure a way to use it as a contraction. But it's kinda hard. It reminds me of my "rock" period. I used the word "rock" in as many instances as I could (i.e. "You rock," "That rocks," "Rock on," "Keep on rocking," etc.). And it isn't quite as bad as when other people use totally or like, like every freaking word. I just use it in the wrong instances. I can hear the word forming, actually, and then it comes out. I want to stop it, but actually, it just kind of happens.
So yeah, I was probably just born this way...
posted by dr gooch at 28.9.04
2 comments
