Thanks. This is just great. If I hadn't already ranted on this about 893 times in the past, this might sound relevant ... so again, thanks a lot.
Mark my words: An American will kill me.
I wake up sometimes in a cold sweat just trying to imagine what they are planning. What diabolical scheme are they concocting.
Will it be a massive SUV that runs me over as I'm trying to cross the road. And the driver isn't looking, cause she's on her cell phone and applying makeup. Will the last thing I see be a faded "Women for Kerry" bumper sticker?
Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's anger. Maybe, just maybe, this election has "gotten" to me.
They're trying to starve me of oxygen by removing all the trees on the planet. That's it.
It is the election. It reminded me, that, no matter what, Americans will do anything based on fear. Afraid they're going to die in a fiery terrorist attack. Afraid that they're going to lose their job. Afraid that if they change horses, the new horse is such a flake, the entire world will basically lose respect for us. Afraid that a gay man is going to corrupt their children. Afraid that a gay man might ... gasp ... want to get married.
See, I think it might be a complex plan to get me to be afraid of some deadly new virus, which causes me to take a drug that wasn't "effectively" or "rationally" tested and I end up with a debilitating cancer that takes 10 years to suck the life from my veins.
See, now that America has overwhelmingly re-elected a man that hasn't really done a lot but promise to do a lot, I feel that I can speak freely now and not be labeled a Kossak. I hate John Kerry. He's a Decepticon. There really is truly more than meets the eye. Bush tried to call him the most liberal Senator there is. It's simply not that true. (First, because I refuse to find the word liberal as a bad quality and second, because no senator is liberal it's an oxymoron.) He's against gay marriage, he voted for the tax cuts. I don't want to go down this road right now, but he's a "whatever gets the most votes" kinda Democrat. (Please, all you Bush lovers, don't think I'm letting myself off the hook, the guy has more problems than I care to think about. I got caught up in the any-one-but Bush rhetoric and let the one thing about myself I held sacred be cast into the pit of salem's lot. I'm ashamed of myself, but not as ashamed as I am of being represented by Bush.)
Perhaps, they are busy taking away some guy's nice paying factory job, sending him to the unemployment line. He loses more money. His wife leaves him. He gets evicted. He ends up moving in on the corner down the street from me. Finds the bottle. Gets drunk. Needs money. Sees me. Has a broken bottle and a step in my direction ...
And now, the Decepticon has fallen. I hope the rest of the decepticons follow in his footsteps. While Bush pretends to draw the country towards the middle, the left follows right in line. And with him, all the Americans just gobble it all up. We want to appease everyone while stepping on everyone at the same time. We are the greatest nation in the world. Just ask us.
You know, it might be just simple. I get shot while driving my car on the highway by some kid who stole his dad's gun. Blam. It's over. No conspiracy.
You see, as Americans, we've gotten so narrow-sighted and -minded that we're dangerously close to ruining our own society. We've boiled things down to such a point that there isn't anything more than black and white. If you have a shade of gray on a topic, you're just not informed. You're an idiot and a moron. The only thing you could do that is worse, is be on the other side. It's OK to be liberal, that's your choice. But don't turn around and hate someone cause they chose to be conservative.
It might even be simpler. The water might kill me. The air might kill me. The polluters who get a free ride because they have money to lobby Congress get the best of me. I die of brain parasites. Or perhaps, lung cancer. (You know, I could blame the tobacco industry too, as I smoked for a long time. Tobacco companies are run by Americans right?)
It is us -- remember, the first word of USA is us -- who continually vote a white anglo saxon protestant into the highest office (ok, so martin van buren and kennedy weren't, but everyone else was). In a country that's supposed to be based on choice, we can only chose between two candidates that happen to be from the same race, ancestory and religious background? Trust me, we'll vote an Austrian-American immigrant into office before we vote an natural born African-American into office. And we'll vote in at least 5 more WASPs before we vote in a woman. If my children don't have a non-White president, we as a society have failed.
Perhaps, I get into an accident, maybe a drunk homeless guy stabs with me a bottle. I got to the hospital, but thanks to so many frivilous lawsuits I have to fill out 25 lbs. of paper work just to find out that my health care -- which just got the government to assist them in driving up prices by making our health-care a free-market enterpirse -- won't cover that procedure unless I pay them twice the premium per month that I pay right now. Then, when the doctor has to say: If you aren't insured, we can't work. And I stagger back home and walk into my apartment, only to find that it's on fire because of a faulty wiring system put in place by a contractor that low-bid all the competition and built the house without insulating the wires properly. I'm standing in a room, with may insides starting to drip out of my side and my house on fire when my phone rings. A telemarketer wants to know if I'm happy with my long-distance plan. I carefully take the revolver I stole from my neighbor's father, place it to my temple and squeeze.
I'm afraid of Americans. I'm really, really afraid of Americans.
I wake up sometimes in a cold sweat just trying to imagine what they are planning. What diabolical scheme are they concocting.
Will it be a massive SUV that runs me over as I'm trying to cross the road. And the driver isn't looking, cause she's on her cell phone and applying makeup. Will the last thing I see be a faded "Women for Kerry" bumper sticker?
Maybe it's the lack of sleep. Maybe it's anger. Maybe, just maybe, this election has "gotten" to me.
They're trying to starve me of oxygen by removing all the trees on the planet. That's it.
It is the election. It reminded me, that, no matter what, Americans will do anything based on fear. Afraid they're going to die in a fiery terrorist attack. Afraid that they're going to lose their job. Afraid that if they change horses, the new horse is such a flake, the entire world will basically lose respect for us. Afraid that a gay man is going to corrupt their children. Afraid that a gay man might ... gasp ... want to get married.
See, I think it might be a complex plan to get me to be afraid of some deadly new virus, which causes me to take a drug that wasn't "effectively" or "rationally" tested and I end up with a debilitating cancer that takes 10 years to suck the life from my veins.
See, now that America has overwhelmingly re-elected a man that hasn't really done a lot but promise to do a lot, I feel that I can speak freely now and not be labeled a Kossak. I hate John Kerry. He's a Decepticon. There really is truly more than meets the eye. Bush tried to call him the most liberal Senator there is. It's simply not that true. (First, because I refuse to find the word liberal as a bad quality and second, because no senator is liberal it's an oxymoron.) He's against gay marriage, he voted for the tax cuts. I don't want to go down this road right now, but he's a "whatever gets the most votes" kinda Democrat. (Please, all you Bush lovers, don't think I'm letting myself off the hook, the guy has more problems than I care to think about. I got caught up in the any-one-but Bush rhetoric and let the one thing about myself I held sacred be cast into the pit of salem's lot. I'm ashamed of myself, but not as ashamed as I am of being represented by Bush.)
Perhaps, they are busy taking away some guy's nice paying factory job, sending him to the unemployment line. He loses more money. His wife leaves him. He gets evicted. He ends up moving in on the corner down the street from me. Finds the bottle. Gets drunk. Needs money. Sees me. Has a broken bottle and a step in my direction ...
And now, the Decepticon has fallen. I hope the rest of the decepticons follow in his footsteps. While Bush pretends to draw the country towards the middle, the left follows right in line. And with him, all the Americans just gobble it all up. We want to appease everyone while stepping on everyone at the same time. We are the greatest nation in the world. Just ask us.
You know, it might be just simple. I get shot while driving my car on the highway by some kid who stole his dad's gun. Blam. It's over. No conspiracy.
You see, as Americans, we've gotten so narrow-sighted and -minded that we're dangerously close to ruining our own society. We've boiled things down to such a point that there isn't anything more than black and white. If you have a shade of gray on a topic, you're just not informed. You're an idiot and a moron. The only thing you could do that is worse, is be on the other side. It's OK to be liberal, that's your choice. But don't turn around and hate someone cause they chose to be conservative.
It might even be simpler. The water might kill me. The air might kill me. The polluters who get a free ride because they have money to lobby Congress get the best of me. I die of brain parasites. Or perhaps, lung cancer. (You know, I could blame the tobacco industry too, as I smoked for a long time. Tobacco companies are run by Americans right?)
It is us -- remember, the first word of USA is us -- who continually vote a white anglo saxon protestant into the highest office (ok, so martin van buren and kennedy weren't, but everyone else was). In a country that's supposed to be based on choice, we can only chose between two candidates that happen to be from the same race, ancestory and religious background? Trust me, we'll vote an Austrian-American immigrant into office before we vote an natural born African-American into office. And we'll vote in at least 5 more WASPs before we vote in a woman. If my children don't have a non-White president, we as a society have failed.
Perhaps, I get into an accident, maybe a drunk homeless guy stabs with me a bottle. I got to the hospital, but thanks to so many frivilous lawsuits I have to fill out 25 lbs. of paper work just to find out that my health care -- which just got the government to assist them in driving up prices by making our health-care a free-market enterpirse -- won't cover that procedure unless I pay them twice the premium per month that I pay right now. Then, when the doctor has to say: If you aren't insured, we can't work. And I stagger back home and walk into my apartment, only to find that it's on fire because of a faulty wiring system put in place by a contractor that low-bid all the competition and built the house without insulating the wires properly. I'm standing in a room, with may insides starting to drip out of my side and my house on fire when my phone rings. A telemarketer wants to know if I'm happy with my long-distance plan. I carefully take the revolver I stole from my neighbor's father, place it to my temple and squeeze.
I'm afraid of Americans. I'm really, really afraid of Americans.
posted by dr gooch at 3.11.04
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