and now, from the producers of useless drivel and hysteria comes my argument against television news ...

... or, how I learned to stop listening to the hype and figuring it out for my own damned self ...

These are some of the things that piss me off: Ignorance and homophobia; uniformed opinions; people that are self-absorbed; people that are materialistic; people who get their news from Fox.

OK, so I've just described about every Republican you know. But, hold on, I'll go ahead and be fair and balanced.

These things also piss me off: Inability to decide what you want; esoteric belief you are the answer; people that let blind anger sway their opinions; uniformed opinions; people who really think the Boss knows what's best for you; people who get their news from CNN.

OK, happy? No? Why not?

Let us discuss: In five seconds, I've distilled the agenda for television news into a series of well-intentioned, but really terrible string of labels.

You are a label. (Let's call you, "People who read stupid blogs.")

You're either a Republican or a Democrat. Conserative or Liberal. You're either rich or poor. You're either educated or not. I realize that there are subcategories (shades of gray). But, keep that to yourself. Don't let the producers know that.

You're red or you're blue. No one's white, that's not PC. (Let's just call you ... um, OK, this is pretty tough ... Americans?)

I realize that I'm taking the easy way out and making fun and stabbing in the dark. So, I'll restate.

Television news is the most divisive force in my lifetime. Yes, more so than marketing, "Friends" and Michael Moore.

(I'll take a minute to let that soak in, while I grab a Pepsi.)

OK, to keep this simple, I'll stick to politics. (I could delve into racism, homophobia, fear, crime, etc. But I'd like to keep this under 1,000 words.)

Do you watch Fox? Ask yourself why. Does it agree with your conservative agenda? Is it because you find CNN too liberal and you despise Dan Rather?

Do you watch CNN? Ask yourself why. Does it agree with your liberal agenda? Is it because Rupert Murdoch pisses you off and Bill O'Reilly makes you want to throw up in your mouth?

Chances are, you fall into one of those categories (Label: Easily definable by political ideology).

And now, this is where the trap is laid. Of course you watch what you agree with. People, on the whole -- at a base level -- like to watch something that reassures them that they are right. Whether they are left too. (Label: Steadfast and gullible)

So now, you hate CNN cause it's too liberal. Why? Cause you find that you agree with Fox more. That's why. And, when CNN doesn't agree with you ... well, LIBERALS! (And, if you haven't noticed, this works vice-a-versa.)

*BREAK* I'm going to break it down right here, and explain why labels are so misleading. In this article, I've used conserative/liberal as both comforting tags and raging insluts. How is this possible? Easy, it's called spin. If you're liberal, conservative is a scary proposition. (Again ... that whole vice-a-versa thing.) But what do those words mean?

Liberal (adj.)
1. Not limited to or by established, traditional, orthodox, or authoritarian attitudes, views, or dogmas; free from bigotry.
2. Favoring proposals for reform, open to new ideas for progress, and tolerant of the ideas and behavior of others; broad-minded.

Conservative (adj.)
1. Favoring traditional views and values; tending to oppose change.
2. Moderate; cautious

OK, that's out of the way. *BREAK IS OVER*

My point is thus: When you get your news from one source, the source that agrees with you, you give into the system that has taken this great democracy and distilled it down to this: Which of these two idiots shall be president? Which of these two or three corporate monkeys should be my senator? Which plan do I like best -- giving money to the richest 1% or to the richest 10%?

And, thanks to CNN and FOX, this is the easiest label we've ever had: Failures.

We've failed to keep the basic principle of democracy: Freedom.
We've failed to keep the basic tenets of freedom: Choice.
We've failed to keep the basic definition of choice: Options.
We've failed to keep the basic reason for options: Representation

So now, you're choice of representation is limited by your lack of options. Does that basically sum up the representation of this democracy?

Of this freedom?

Thanks Rupert. Thanks Ted.

What I listened to while writing this: Probably too much Bad Religion; For the Workforce, Drowning, Thursday; Without a Face, Rage Against the Machine; A Letter From Prison, Boy Hits Car; The House that Peterbilt, Clutch.